And 9 months are over..

It's been a long time since I updated my blog. Sorry.
But here I am. In Sweden. In my bed, in my room. I left London yesterday. A long day even if London is just a quick flight away. I miss it already. I miss the rush, the atmosphear, the traffic and I miss taking the bus and tube all the time. This morning was quite horrible. Wake up alone. No one beside me. I'm so used to see Alexandra in the bed next to mine when I wake up, but now.. I saw my sofa, and no one was in it. Not even my cats.

The journey was ok though. It took some time to get to the airport, then I had to wait a few hours for my flight but then the time flew. I landed in Denmark and took the train to Hässleholm where my dad and his wife were picking me up. Then we headed to Växjö.

Today was a lovely day though. At first I was a bit depressed because it felt like London was a dream and never happend. But then my brother and his family came and picked us up and I met 3/5 lovely nephews and my youngest niece. Such a happiness. Lovely to see them again.
I'm more worried about tomorrow. I have nothing to do. I don't know what to do. I don't really want to go to the city and check the stores, I don't have much money anyway so shopping is the last I'll do. And here, it's not like in London. In London I could always go to a new place and explore or just go to another beautiful place I've been before. Here... I don't know. I'm not excited about taking a walk around our lake, or go to the shopping centre. I'm not even excited about go out clubbing or anything like that. Hm.. I know I sound like the most boring person right now. But it is a big contrast coming from London, where you've been for 9 months and now go back here.

I will probably just stay for 5 weeks tho. Then we're going back to start a new life. I will enjoy all my time with my loved ones but I think that's it. I don't want to be alone. Because then I'll just be sad about the fact how much I love London and how sad I feel when I think that I don't feel like home in Växjö. I wish I did. But how it feels now. I'm not comfortable in this city. It's too small. It's the same people as always, it's the same streets, everything looks the same. I like when it changes and when there's a rush in a city. When I arrived here yesterday and came through the city.. I saw 8 people. EIGHT!

But I have to admit though I'm very happy the EF time is over. I didn't enjoy the school at all. It was way too unorganized for me. I will not miss the small small corridors, toilets, extremely busy cafeteria, the bullshit you heard people talk all the time etc. I will miss some people yes, but mostly I'm just glad I'm out from the school. Now I just want to pay back my loan and go on. I don't feel that I learned much anyway. Most of the things I learned has been by talking to people outside school.

I'm very happy though over my personal journey. I came to London as a very "well, okay I have no idea why I do this, but sure, let's go"-person. I was quite lost, didn't really care. I soon fell in the Londoner-look and didn't leave house one single day without make up, mostly even false lashes and so on. Partied every wekeend, my heart and mind was like a rollercoaster because so much things were going wrong for me.
I went home from christmas. Had a horrible christmas day and got so drunk that I still not today drink very much. I came back to London. Moved quite fast to a new host family. Went out to dance with Alexandra. Happend to meet my nowadays boyfriend. Partied 2 or maybe 3 times in 5 months. Was just very more down and had much more quality time. I moved to Alexandra and we started to work out. I didn't wear my false lashes anymore. I almost I only used make up on weekends. I just cooled down. I think it's a good thing. For other people they maybe don't understand my point of view. But compared to how I was last autumn/winter, to how I've been this spring... I wouldn't recognize myself. And I'm so happy to have Alexandra whose have had almost exactly the same journey as me.
It was tough to say goodbye yesterday.

Today I feel like I'm on my way to grow up even more. I must honestly say I don't like being 20. I would like to be a bit older to come away from the teenager-years. 20 is just "you're young but you're still older now"... well time takes time. But I'm sure, when I move back to London i mid-June, I'll become even stronger and better.

I've said to people who asks me "Would you change anything?" - "I would probably not choose the school f I knew how bad it was. But still, if I didn't choose the school, I wouldn't be where I am today, and I wouldn't have met the people I've met. So no, I wouldn't change a thing."

Thank you London for the lovely 9 months of welcoming. Soon you'll get me back. Permanent. Because it will take time before I get tired of you. My lovely London town.