What's wrong? Whats right?

In 6 days I am leaving one of the biggest loves of my life. London. I'm leaving for Brighton. I don't know how long I'm leaving. Two weeks? Two months? Two years? Forever? I really don't know. It feels like this whole thing is out of my hands and I can not even get the slightest grip of it. I don't know what to feel or what to think. I'm laying sleepless in the nights, tossing ans turning and just want to feel something obvious. I want to see a clear Yes or No. But I can't. People might think I'm out of my mind. Yes, I am a bit nuts. I've always been doing the strangest things. So I don't want to skip it all without trying. I want to know if London is the best place for me, or if maybe another part of England is even better? How can I know if I never try? If you never try you never know. You need to be brave. Push the limits. The best thing is, that even if I would find out after just two weeks that I can not see a life in Brighton, and then move back to London, I will not feel like a failure. Because then I know that London is the best home I can have by now. London really feels like home. On Tuesday it's 2 years ago since I touched down in London.

Back then I felt like a small, shy girl. Two years later I'm a completely independent young woman. I earn my own money, I pay my own rent I cook my own food. Like wow! If you knew me before I moved you know cooking food and taking care of money wasn't my best side. I'm so proud of who I am and what I've accomplished so far. Sure, some days I cry and feel like the worst person in the world. But I can still think that I am such a cool chic. I left my home country,  all by my self.

I'm glad I'll have one of my best friends with me in Brighton. I would never do it myself.

I've started pack my things. As the biggest cry baby I am, I'll probably cry when the train is leaving London. It's not even far. 50 minutes with the train. But still. My beloved,  amazing London.