I'll just skip no 2 and 3 I the list and go straight to 1. Which is "One thought". I'll probably not translate this. - Jag kommer antagligen inte översätta detta. Men om jag gör det, blir det Google Translate, och då får ni inte dömma mig.
Ok, back to English. I thought I should try to summarize this autumn. I am actually so shocked over how fast these three months left and how much you can fit into that short time.
I remember it like yesterday when I arrived, got lost at Heathrow and had to go around in a car for 3 hours before we reached my home. I was so worried that I'd end up with a bad host family. But what a relief, I've got one of the school's best host. And she's absolutely great. So nice and she let's me do whatever I want, be out how late I want, bring friends and so on. The thought of having a roommate, I wouldn't "click" with hadn't gone through my mind. Well, it was a very strange time when I had one..
Anyway, the first week I was scared to death. I didn't feel excited, London was not what I expected and I just wanted to go home. I never thought I'd be able to stay. The first 2-3 weeks were hard. And quickly I felt that the school wasn't good. The money I paid for learning fashion these months were such a waste.
Then I met this wonderful person, Alexandra, and thank god for that. I wouldn't survived this autumn without her. We've known each other for 12 weeks but it feels like ages. We can talk about everything and that's great. Such a good feeling to have a friend like that here. We decided to go out to a pub together and after that we've been out together almost every weekend.
Life got better but still worse. I didn't miss my home so much anymore and I started to really enjoy London. But hey, don't get so excited because when you feel that "hey life's pretty nice right now", there's always something that will bring you down again. My grandpa passed away and I felt really sad. I started to miss my home again. Met strange people out and everything was just falling apart a bit. I've met the nicest people in the world here, but also the strangest. But when someone tried to hook me up, my third day, when I was just sitting on a bench in south bank, I felt that...jesus, this is big city life. If you're from a small town you're not used to people coming up to you and giving you a compliment and wanting to take you to a café. Basically, you're not used to meet people at all. It's funny tho. You meet new people all the time. In my town in Sweden, there's not so many cute boys either, hehe... I remember when me and Alexandra just sat down in a café before we barely knew each other and sat and looked at guys walking by, haha.
This autumn has been filled with emotions. I don't even know how I've been able to go through so many feelings in this little amount of time. I've been scared, worried, happy, smitten, heartbroken, filled of sorrow, euphoric, emotionless, sad, confused... well you name it. Everything is like a big roller coaster.
Tonight I feel a bit scared, happy and proud.
I'm scared of going home because I think it can be more of a culture crash now, than when I got here. I'm scared I'll be home and everything will feel like it didn't happened. Like I've been in Sweden forvever and didn't even go to London.
I'm happy because, of course, I'm going to meet everyone I love again. I've missed everyone so much. Also funny to see who cares and who doesn't. :-) Hopefully my cats cares, or else I'd be sad, haha...
And finally, I'm proud. I'm so freaking proud of myself. What I've done and what I'm doing. 19 years old, leaving a small city with 80 000 inhabitants, for a life in London, without anyone I knew. And I'm so proud I've been able to go through so much and still sit here and feel that I'm happy. I wanted to change my life, so I did. I must say I feel like the most amazing girl ever sometimes. Fucking good job, Linda! I so often think that my life or just me isn't any special at all. That I'm just a no body, hoping to suceed with something in life. But bloody hell, I'm here. If you all knew how my life was before I got here, you'd understand better. Växjö to London is poles apart.
Even if these months went so fast, I'm beyond excited about what next year will bring! I'm so excited. Will miss the city and not meeting my London-buddie every day and talk about everything. But I think we'll survive 4 weeks apart. Then next year, London, get ready for two sweet swedes, because we have big plans!! Thank you London for this amazing time, you've made me grow as a person. See you next year, beautiful city!! ♥♥
The flight is taking of 13.30 tomorrow, but I have to leave home around 9 am, and I'll be in my town around 9 pm. Long day. I'll probably not blog so much while I'm in Sweden. I will not have my english number either. And I'll be back in London the 5th of January. Will be a nice break!
Flyget lyfter 13.30 imorgon, men kommer behöva åka hemifrån ca 9. Kommer vara i Växjö runt 21. Mitt svenska nummer kommer också att fungera imorgon och under tiden jag är i Sverige. Jag kommer åka hem till London den 5 januari. Så det är bara att slänga in ett sms eller något och boka upp mig så tar vi en fika eller något. Dagarna går fort och snart åker jag igen, vill ju försöka träffa så många som möjligt.
